Harry Potter and Severus Snape and HP & CoS
by Iani Ancilla
Summary: Harry and Sev go to the pictures to see 'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets'
1. Let the show begin!

Ok, everyone... this was born a while ago during an extremely boring German lesson, the day after I saw CoS for the first time. It's Sev and Harry, who are currently together, going to the pictures to see the CoS movie.  
  
WARNING: Extreme silliness!!! OOCness!!! Scary! Demential!!!  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing except maybe my life and the very high pile of homework waiting on my desk.  
  
A/N: I haven't continued it. If you want me to (don't know why you should, though), just tell me. I still have 9 days of school before summer break, and those can be extremely productive!  
  
HARRY POTTER AND SEVERUS SNAPE AND "HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF  
SECRETS"  
  
"C'mon, Sev, are you ready yet??"  
  
"Almost ready. Wait just a moment, will you, you impatient Gryffindor?"  
  
"Aw, Sev, the movie will start in 10 minutes!"  
  
"That's why we're apparating, isn't it?"  
  
"But what if we don't make it on time? What about tickets???"  
  
"I already reserved two seats, now shut up and leave me be."  
  
*tic-tac tic-tac*  
  
"Uhm, Sev? 5 minutes..."  
  
*door being opened*  
  
"!!!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Sev... Leather pants and black silken shirt?? Not saying that the goth look doesn't suit you, but..."  
  
"Oh... You mean I shouldn't put on the leather coat and the spiked choker?"  
  
*drool*  
  
*smirk* "Well, Potter, weren't you worried we'd be la-mhpffff!"  
  
*wet slurping noises*  
  
"Ok, Sev, let's go!"  
  
"Gaaargh..."  
  
"C'mon, Sev!!"  
  
*pop*  
  
*pop*  
  
******************  
  
*pop*  
  
*pop*  
  
"Oh! Oh!!! It's late! 2 minutes!!!"  
  
"So anxious to assist to the shameless celebration of you sheer dumb luck?"  
  
"Pfff.. You're just afraid the actor starring you won't be good enough!"  
  
*grumble*  
  
"Oh, Severus, don't sulk!"  
  
"Am not!" *sulks*  
  
****************************  
  
"Look, Sev! It's starting!!!"  
  
"Would you mind relenting your hold on my arm, Potter? *I* don't enjoy weekly stays in the Hospital Wing as much as other people here appear to do.."  
  
"Well, you sure enjoy it when *I* am suck there! You get to cuddle me and fuss and Mme Pomfre actually *approves*!!!"  
  
"I don't fuss!"  
  
*in a high-pitched bad imitation/parody of fussy!Snape* "Harry, dear, why do you keep playing that stupid game? Harry, drink your broth! Harry, remember your potion! Harry, luv, do you need another blanket? Pillow? What about your teddy-bear?"  
  
"Insufferable brat."  
  
*giggles*  
  
*snorts*  
  
*****************  
  
"Hey! That's not true! It wasn't like that at the Dursleys'!!!"  
  
"Well, they needed a troubled adolescence for their hero, it adds to the dramatic charge..."  
  
"I.. I meant that I didn't get away that easily... I got the beating of my life from uncle Vernon..."  
  
"...."  
  
*weak laugh* "Well, they couldn't very well put *that* into a children's movie, could they?"  
  
"Harry..."  
  
*hug*  
  
*slow kiss*  
  
****************  
  
"Ugh. Why did they put that git in the movie??"  
  
"Sev, he's got quite an important pat, you know that..."  
  
"I don't care! I'm not ready to face Lockhart on wide-screen!"  
  
"C'mon, be sensible!"  
  
"I don't do sensible, Potter!"  
  
*scowls*  
  
"Aaaaaargh!!! Harry, help me!!! He's winking, he's winking at meeeeee!!!!"  
  
*sounds of two panicked wizards being shut up by the rest of the audience*  
  
************  
  
"That should be Lucius??"  
  
"Uh-uh... Jason Isaacs. I think David Bowie would have made a better Mr.Malfoy, but he's quite good, right?"  
  
".."  
  
"Sev, you're drooling."  
  
"Ugh... Not really. It's just... it's that.."  
  
"Sev!!"  
  
"I AM *NOT* DROOLING OVER LUCIUS!"  
  
"Sure you aren't."  
  
"I told you I'm over him!"  
  
"So whom are you drooling after?"  
  
"Jason Isaacs."  
  
*glares* "That was the moment you were supposed to say 'You, my Harry, only you'"  
  
*distractedly* "Uh-uh..."  
  
*hopeful stare* "I love you so much, Sev..."  
  
"Do we get to see more of him during the movie??"  
  
"Cruci--- *sighs* Yeah, Sev. More of him later."  
  
*****************  
  
"Hey!! It wasn't Filch who caught us!!!"  
  
"Yes, I sort of remember that.."  
  
"Uhm, we didn't really mean it like that, you know?"  
  
"Oh? Which part of it? The greasy-git-must-have-been-sacked part, or the Malfoy-will-have-to-find-another-arse-to-kiss part?"  
  
"Uh-oh.. Hey! There you are!!!!"  
  
"Tha-that would be me??? But...!!!"  
  
"What, Sev?? He's *hot*!"  
  
*glares*  
  
"He is!!!"  
  
"He doesn't glare and scowl and smirk and sneer as I do! And his robes don't billow the right way!!"  
  
"How would you know?? He's sitting!!"  
  
"I just *know*."  
  
*rolls eyes*  
  
"And I'm not that old! I was 37, then!!! And I'm thin!!"  
  
"Yeah, and your hair is greasier.."  
  
*glares*  
  
"Well, it is!! Anyway, that's just Alan Rickman starring as Professor Snape. I myself don't look much like Daniel Radcliffe, either. He's even got brown hair and blue eyes!! At least they got you colours right!"  
  
"Mpf!"  
  
*****************************  
  
"!!!"  
  
"!!!"  
  
"Sev?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Sev, that's the *real* Dumbledore..."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Oh, crap."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Sev, you all right?"  
  
"No. Crap."  
  
*******************************  
  
ok. As I said, tell me if you want it to go on. otherwise, flames and insults are welcome and will do nothing to lower my enflated self-esteem  
  
Iani Ancilla (chaosnomiko@hotmail.com) 


	2. Scary Lockhart

First things first: a big *big* thank you to everyone who reviewed chapter 1!!! I'm sorry that I didn't update as I had promised, but I had my final exams this year, and I hadn't time for writing.  
  
I'm sorry also because a reviewer wrote that she was a bit squeaked by Sev and Harry being gay and together. I'm sorry I didn't put a warning, but since slash is the only kind of fic I read and write, it didn't even come to my mind that there are non-slashers out there. I'm not saying anything against non-slash people: it was simply sloppiness on my part. Again, I'm sorry. So, here it is:  
  
WARNING: THIS IS A *SLASH* FANFIC. There is no sex in here (just some kisses and lots of drooling), and the whole thing is rated PG, but it is clearly understandable that the two protagonists (Harry Potter and Sevrus Snape) are gay and together with each other. If this disturbs you in any sort of way, don't read.  
  
And now... On with the show!!!  
  
*********************  
  
"Merlin, Harry, I take back all I ever said about your courage. You really are the bravest person I've ever known."  
  
"Uh?"  
  
"I could never have done it."  
  
"What? Fighting pixies?"  
  
"No, putting up with Lockhart."  
  
*snickers*  
  
"You don't really know how dangerous that man really was..."  
  
"Well, he did try to brainwash Ron and me! What could he have done to you that you fear him so much??"  
  
*shudders*  
  
"Sev?"  
  
*in a OOCly shaky voice* "You mean apart from groping my arse and stroking my thighs at any chance he got?"  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"Sorry, Sev. I understand it was a difficult part of your life, and if you ever feel the need to talk abou-"  
  
"It's over now, Harry. I'm free."  
  
"Yes, Sev." *holds hand reassuringly*  
  
******************  
  
*snicker*  
  
"You're a git, Severus Snape. Weren't it for the pass you gave to Flint, all that wouldn't have happened."  
  
"Then it was for the best I did give it to him."  
  
"Sev!"  
  
"You can't honestly deny that those slugs are far less revolting than the utter nonsense Weasley has usually coming from his mouth."  
  
"Hey!! He's a friend!"  
  
"Mphf."  
  
*glares*  
  
"..."  
  
*glares*  
  
"..."  
  
*glares*  
  
"Oh, for Merlin's sake! All right, I'm sorry! I shouldn't tell your friends are complete imbeciles!"  
  
"Oh, Sev, Thank yo-"  
  
"...Even though I think it."  
  
*thud*  
  
*************************  
  
*shudder* "Oh, Merlin. He's back."  
  
"I though you said you were over your bad experiences with Lockhart?"  
  
*venomously* "Well, *you*'re over Diggory's death, but you *wouldn't* like it if I went around with his face printed on my T-shirt with KILL THE SPARE written under it!!"  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"That was mean."  
  
"That was me."  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"Sorry. I didn't think you were *that* afraid of the fraud."  
  
"Am not afraid." *whimpers* "Aaaaaargh!! He's winking at me again!!! Harry, help me, take him away!"  
  
"C'mon, Sev... Kenneth Branagh is not that similar to Lockhart, anyway..."  
  
"I know, I *know*! It's just the... the idea of it..."  
  
"Calm down, Sev. Look, Alan Rickman is scowling at him! See, you're so brave, scowling and smirking and sneering at bad evil Lockhart!"  
  
*sniffs* "Really?"  
  
"Really, Sev. So brave. And you billowed away so wonderfully... like a big black bat. Lockhart must have wet his pants at that."  
  
*starry eyes* "Oh, Harry, you really think that?"  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"?"  
  
"... Her, actually... I was teasing..."  
  
*hurt drama queen expression* "Harry Potter, I *hate* you. Don't you think I'll ever sleep with you again!"  
  
"No! Sev, wait!!"  
  
*turns head away*  
  
"Sev, if you forgive me, I'll tell you who stole the gillyweed!"  
  
"..."  
  
"So?"  
  
"Damn you. *I* am the one who's supposed to be the evil Slytherin, blackmailing you and plotting against you!"  
  
*shrugs* "I always liked role-playing."  
  
*lust-filled gaze*  
  
*fearful stare* "Hey!! Not that!! I meant D&D!!!"  
  
************************  
  
Tbc (when I find time. sigh.)  
  
Hope you liked. And if you're wondering... yes. I am deeply afraid of Gilderoy Lockhart.  
  
Iani Ancilla ( chaosnomiko@hotmail.com ) 


End file.
